Smoke rises throughout the rubble as a group of men finally meet face to face. With the city in ruins and the ammunition spent, it's now down to a final showdown to prove the victor. Will it be the Buff Dudes or the leaders of the president-kidnapping ninja gang? As history has shown us time and time again, there's only one way to settle a confrontation of this scale: an arm-wrestling competition of epic proportions.
The Dudes and ninjas grip one another's hands and lock eyes. But the wrestle was settled before it even began. The Buff Dudes' forearms held a royal flush; the ninjas had a pair of twos, an Uno card, and $4 in Monopoly money. Ready for the struggle nonetheless, the ninjas let out a whisper: "Wake up, your alarm clock is going off."
This is the moment of truth. Will you hit the snooze button and go to commercial break? Turn off the alarm clock altogether and hope to resume ninja arm-wrestling? Or will you twist your body out of bed and slam your feet to the cold floor like a true Buff Dude?
Being a Buff Dude—cue explosion, guitar solo, and jumping freeze-frame high five—you've obviously decided to go with option three and seize the day. You're up and running before the sun has even had a chance to shine. You attack life like we attack this recipe for oatmeal protein cups:
Contrary to what others may have told you, being a Buff Dude isn't all about hitting the iron hard and cooking up stacks of crunchy homemade food. No, my friend, we also work out, and eat too. Then it's time for training, and maybe a snack. (See? Lots of variety!)
Wondering what a Buff Dude's perfect day looks like? Wonder no more. This is how we try to attack every single day.
6 a.m. : Train Legs
Is getting up this early easy? Hell no. Is it worth it? Absolutely. We're big believers in getting the day started off right, and for us, nothing does that as well as grabbing a cup of coffee or a pre-workout, listening to some sweet tunes on the way to the gym—if you're thinking Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone," we're on the same page—and then hitting the iron hard.
Not only will you feel great afterward, but you'll also avoid the stress of missing an evening workout after work or school. Why? Because it's already done! What's a mission successfully accomplished without a reward? After wrapping up our workout, we'll usually down a protein shake before heading back home.
Since this is a perfect day, we'll be training legs. Walking toward your car in slow motion—very slowly, if you trained right—and imagining the gym you've just destroyed blowing up behind you is optional.
Only have dumbbells at home? We've got you covered there, too. Just take all the ideas you can from our dumbbells-only home-workout routine. When you're a Buff Dude, there is no escape from leg training!
8:30 a.m. : Breakfast
You've done some light stretching, showered, and meticulously groomed your Viking-berserker beard to look presentable before stepping back out into public. But wait! Don't forget breakfast.
We try and mix it up, varying between overnight oats, protein waffles, and what we'll be consuming today: a Buff Dudes-approved breakfast wrap. Dig in.
9 a.m. : Classified Information
You thought saving the President from a splinter group of world-traveling rogue ninjas was just a dream? It may be just a dream for you bucko, but it's our reality. This part of our day is saved for freefall parachuting into foreign capitals to save political diplomats, hacking into sophisticated terminals wearing mustache disguises, and—ahem—occasionally, sitting in corporate offices at a computer for eight hours.
12 p.m. : Lunch
Time can be a real issue, especially when you're out saving the world. That's why we usually take along a prepared meal for lunch. If you don't have one, look into grabbing a slow cooker. It's a great way for anyone—including those of us with little to no cooking skill—to prep their food.
Today, we'll be eating something simple: Buff Dudes slow-cooker chicken cooked in salsa, along with some rice and guacamole. Do you hear that? It's your stomach, and it's hungry.
12:30 p.m. : More Classified Information
Taking the chopper low over the Baltic Sea. Gotta keep our eyes peeled as even one mistake could cause a seismic shift, throwing society as we know it into utter disarray. Wait, I've said too much. Moving on...
3:30 p.m. : Snack
This edge-of-the-skyscraper knife fight is burning a hell of a lot more calories than we thought it would. In between clangs of steel and intense grimacing, don't forget to reach into your pocket and grab a quick bite of a protein bar to hold off hunger until dinner. Remember, Buff Dudes operate best in top secret tactical espionage missions when properly fed!
6 p.m. : Dinner!
The day is almost finished, and you arrive back home. Clothes are tattered and torn. Your face is a mess, and you've been pushed to your psychological brink. It's times like these when your only logical thought is, "what's for dinner?"
With dinner, we usually keep it pretty simple. We're tired, we survived, and we usually don't feel like spending any more than 10 minutes whipping something together.
Does a salad sound good? No? Then mess around with it until you make it good. You're a Buff Dude, damnit; get creative! If you're looking for a quick, savory piece of protein to lay on top of all those greens, try the easy protein tuna patties recipe from our article "4 Clean Alternatives To Your Favorite Cheat Meal."
Here's what the whole day's worth of meals and macros looks:
This one is easy. Grab some greens, some meat, some nuts, and some light dressing. Then get creative! There are thousands of salad combinations, and we experiment all the time in order to prevent getting bored. We'll usually make the salad big—or extra big—depending on how many calories we've got left as we approach the final stretch.
10:00 p.m. : Sleep
Time to recharge those batteries. As you set your alarm and prepare to drift away, remember this simple rule: The Buff Dudes seat of consistency is held up by the four legs of fitness. Weights. Food. Cardio. Sleep. Remove one leg, and it becomes wobbly. Remove two, and it falls over!
Take a good look at your base, and make sure all its legs are strong and intact. Got it? Good. From us to you, here's a single biceps salute. We're proud of you. Now stay buff!