Have you ever looked in the mirror, gazed at your massive pecs popping out of your stringer tank, and wondered, "Is my bro too strong?" This gainsistential question is one every man must ask himself. The answer, however, is not always clear.
Check out the list below and see how many of these signs relate to you. If you can check off more than half, you may have gone overbro!*
You have one or more days dedicated solely to ab training
Indirect training isn't going to build that turtle shell. Get back on the mat!
You do curls in the squat rack
What's the big deal? Curls are basically squats for the upper body.
You wear a lifting belt through your entire workout
If corsets worked in the 1600s, a weight belt will work today.
You base who you listen to solely on how a person looks
Unless PhD stands for "phreakin' diced," you're not interested.
You only drink water from a gallon jug
Tiny cups deliver tiny gains. Seriously, it's on PubMed.1
You have a massive collection of tapered joggers
Where did you get those fancy sweat pants, and why the hell do they cost so much?
Your gym clothes are nicer than your work wardrobe
Until they start making collared tank tops, that is!
Your body hair is always perfectly groomed (or nonexistent)
Laser treatment Groupon at the local med-spa? Pile in, boys!
You think "hypertrophy" is an actual trophy
And by god, if someone at your gym wins that hyper-trophy, it's going to be you!
Your calves are smaller than your biceps, and that's OK
Leg day? Isn't that why they invented pants?
You hate CrossFit, whatever it is
Fake pull-ups? Made-up lifts? Cardio? End of story.
You think egg whites naturally come in cartons
"What the hell is that white orb, and why is there a yellow eye in it?"
You feel morally obligated to load two plates on the bar for every lift, no matter what
Or else the world won't know how strong you are.
You frequently eat dinner in the locker room
The anabolic window is closing fast. No matter. You have chicken in your gym bag!
You don't care how much you bench, but you lie about it anyway
Thankfully, your bros lie about this too, or someone might actually ask you to test your max!
*Don't worry: Going overbro isn't necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it's a sign that you're dedicated to the iron life. Sure, many civilians may not understand, but they're probably too small to matter anyway. Now stop reading and get to the gym!
- McLargeHuge, Gunnzington. (2015). Drinking-vessel size directly related to rate and volume of muscle growth. Journal of Muscle Miscellania and General Gainery, 1-10.