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 By: Jason Bennett My last article I spoke to you about getting my fat ass out of Krispy Kreme and back into the weight lifting mood. It was hard to pull my hand out of the can of cashews, and my lips of the cool Bud, but I did it and was feeling better already. So I had on my workout gear and started driving to the gym, dreaming of how much I was going to squat and leg press in my head, and wondering if they were going to have enough 45 pound plates for me. I couldn't wait to get in there and get started! I walk through the doors and head to the locker room, put my bag down and then jump on the treadmill for 5 minutes of walking to get the blood flowing and my body warm and loose. After that I go into the weight room and start loosening up, and to be honest it doesn't feel all that great.
Well I couldn't get my fat ass anything close to parallel without falling over. My form was so awkward it was like having your sister catch you sleeping with your cousin, and she says, "I'm not exactly how you say it, but I think it's called 'menache e tua'" My knee went forward, buckled in. I bent over at the back instead of the legs, my hip flexors were so tight I couldn't go down at all. It was absolutely horrible. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't squatting 400lbs yet. "Well shoot" I said, "This sucks!!" I had then realized that the weeks off and the gallons of ice cream didn't do me any favors! I had to step back and re-evaluate my plan of attack to get back to freakage. In addition, I was already tired from the one, half-rep I did (it was killer!). So this is what I did, I stepped back onto the treadmill and walked quickly for a good 20 minutes and then went to the Aerobics room and stretched my entire body for another 20 minutes. I had to loosen everything up if I was ever going to make any progress under the squat rack. Once I was good to go, I went back into the gym and took the plates off and had just the bar and start doing some slow, controlled squats. I tried to do 10 reps but it was too much! So I just did what I could for 4 sets, my legs were like jelly at this time. Then I went to the standing leg curl apparatus (I don't call it a machine, but its plate loaded-what would you call it?) and did one leg at a time, 12 reps with no weight, and to no surprise this was tough also. Damn what a pussy I was! From there I went and did 4x15 on the leg press, deep slow reps, getting a good stretch and a very light push. I only used one plate for this. On to stiff legged deadlifts with just the bar, 3x10 and finished with extensions. We have a plate loaded one at my gym and all I used was a 25 pounder. I was wiped out, whew! I was like a field of pussy willows flapping in the breeze, I could have been knocked over by a look in the eye! I realized that all my muscles had atrophied so much that it was going to take a bit of time to get my entire body back into the swing of things. So I went home and devised a plan for the next two weeks to specifically target getting back into proper form. I call this my "Back to the Gym Plan" and hopefully it can help anyone of you reading this come back from a long layoff.
Day 1 - Legs
Squats - 4x10 with just the bar Back to 10-20 minutes of good stretching
Day 2 - Chest/Delts and Traps
Push-ups - 4x10 (sounds weak, I know) Stretch your total body for another 10-20 minutes
Day 3 - Stretch everything for 20 minutes Day 4 - Back
Lat pulldowns - 3x10 with hardly any weight Stretch!
Day 5 - Arms
Standing barbell curls - 2x12 Stretch like a champion!
Day 6 - Stretch everything for 20 minutes Day 7 - Don't do a thing! Day 8 - Legs
Squats - 4x15 Stretch all of your legs!
Day 9 - Delts/Traps
BB Shrugs - 3x15
Day 10 - Rest, stretch, eat Day 11 - Back
Deadlift - 4x10 with 135lbs each set, just get the motion Stretch
Day 12 - Chest
Incline Barbell Press - 4x10 Stretch
Day 13 - Arms
Standing BB curls - 4x10
Day 14 - Rest Day 15 - You're in there, start back with legs and start trying to increase the weights and challenge yourself The entire point of the first two weeks is to simply get blood into your muscles and get them stretched out and loosened up and ready to start pumping again. The volume increase gradually so that by week 3 you can go back to using the volume you once were before, but not necessarily the weights you were using once before. Of course you don't have to start with legs, you can start with what you want and tailor it any way possible. This is what I used to get my body and myself back into action and ready for punishment. Try it out, with proper nutrition and patience, you'll be back to normal in no time!
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