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How To Be Annoying At The Gym!

Some people are just naturally annoying, but others have to try for it. If you need to be annoying then the next time you go to the gym, do the following...

Some people are just naturally annoying, but others have to try for it. If you are one of those people who have to try, here is how you can be the most annoying person you possibly can. Next time you go to the gym, do the following:
  • Grunt. Not just every now and then, but with every rep (no matter what you're doing, including wrist curls) let out a resounding HAAAUUNNH! Don't worry if people look at you strangely, they're just jealous because they aren't as vocally impressive.
  • If there's only one squat rack in the gym, use it to do bicep curls. After all, you're SO big that you really need that added protection and anyone waiting to do squats won't mind waiting because they want you to be safe.
  • Bring four or five friends to work out with you and spend at least a half-hour monopolizing each piece of equipment. If someone you know walks by, make sure to invite him or her to join you. Under no circumstances allow anyone else to get on the equipment though; you don't want to break your momentum.
  • Pose. After each and every set, stop to admire yourself in the mirror. Flex every muscle you can for at least 30 seconds, and keep the biggest smile on your face that you can. People will look at you and say WOW!
  • Don't, under any circumstances, bring a towel. It's hilariously funny to see another gym user slip in a puddle of your sweat and fall on their ass.
  • If a woman comes into the weight room, make sure to hit on her. She couldn't possibly be interested in lifting weights to improve her physique. She's obviously there to look for a man, and since you are the biggest guy there, she will want you!
  • Focus on your chest, biceps, and shoulders. Don't work on any other body parts, especially not your legs. Nothing else matters. Do this and people will respect you more.
  • Even though you're at 30% body fat and your six-pack is buried behind everything else in the fridge, feel free to walk around the gym giving people training tips. Trust me, it means a lot coming from you.
  • When someone else is doing their sets, say "Don't forget to breath" after every rep they do. They will appreciate your help.
  • If you feel like stretching out a little bit, feel free to use any open space in the weight room. People don't mind if you're blocking an aisle or their way to a machine. After all, it's important for a lifter to remain limber.
  • Drop the barbells to the floor whenever you're done with your set, and let the stacks on the machines slam together. If the floor is heavily padded, try throwing the barbells on the ground, it will make more noise. It draws attention to you and there's nothing like being the center of attention.
  • If you see someone who has an untied shoe, bend over and tie it for them. You do not have to ask, they will be very grateful of your generosity.
  • The people who work at the gym mop the floors, clean the windows, vacuum the carpets, take out the garbage, and clean the toilets. Since they don't have enough to do, make sure you leave your equipment all over the weight room, so they can put everything back and really earn their minimum wage.
If you do these, I guarantee people will get pissed at you. You might even see some people leave the gym because of you. When you are all done being huge at the gym, you may even see smiles on people's faces when you step out the door. Don't overdue this, because there are some big guys at the gym, and some might even want to beat your ass. So next time you go to the gym, have some fun!