Recognize what motivates you, and be real with it. Every guy wants a body that women find attractive. It might not be your #1 reason for working out, maybe not even your 3rd, 4th or 5th, but on some level we all want a body that women find attractive. If you're shaking your head in defiance to the article so far ask yourself, "Do you want a body that women find unattractive?" I'm pretty sure there isn't a guy on the planet who'd say yes to that question.
The reality is that we want to be noticed by good looking girls, and good looking girls notice guys that are good looking. You're not going to get noticed in a good way if you're too skinny; you're also not going to get noticed in a good way if you're carrying too much fat. I hate to say it but it's true. There are obviously guys on either end of the spectrum who are married or going out with smoking hot girls, but they didn't get her because she was in awe of his body and she may have not been attracted to him when they first met.
I'm writing this out of experience. I was a toothpick and I was never the first guy in the room getting eyed up and down by a girl, so I know that being just 'skin and bone' doesn't make a girl all hot and bothered at first glance and it won't get you dates. Or at least it's a hell of a lot easier getting dates when you have a body that's pleasing to the eye.
Having gained what is now more than 35 pounds of lean muscle, I have a body I'm confident with, and a girlfriend who finds me attractive (and I obviously think she's as beautiful as they come). Guys and girls are similar in many ways, when a guy first starts dating a girl, his buddies ask if she's hot, and when a girl first dates a guy all of her friends ask if he's hot. It feels a lot better knowing that my girlfriend says yes to that question than it would otherwise!
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I Feel Better Knowing My Girlfriend Can
Tell Her Friends That Her Boyfriend Is Hot.
But what physical traits do women find attractive, or what kind of body catches their eye?
What Women Want
Studies have shown that it's not the skinny guy or the fat guy that women would choose first if choosing were based solely on looks. But it's also not the massive guy with monstrous muscles who is going to be their first choice either. Women want a guy who looks good with or without clothes on. A guy who looks athletic, lean and muscular, without going overboard. You have to be able to look good in a nice suit, but also a nice bathing suit.
Have you ever heard of the "V" shaped body? Well that's an idea of what women are looking for. They want a guy with broad shoulders, a decent-sized chest and back, solid sized arms and a thin waste that tapers down into a "V". But they also want some meat on their legs, which means decent sized quads, and calves that don't look like they're going to break underneath a massive upper body. A body that fits that description is shaped more like an "X" than a "V", so we'll call it an "X" shaped body to give it a more complete image.
Assuming a girl's going to see you with your clothes on the first time you meet, she's going to notice your frame before she notices the details. So broad shoulders and thick enough chest, back and thighs will originally catch her eye. Then she'll notice your arms and maybe calves if you're wearing shorts, although "a don doesn't wear shorts, it's undignified." Carmine Lupertazzi—The Sopranos
Love that quote, anyways, in this article I'll be going over how to build a body that fits the aforementioned description. A body that'll drive women crazy, but also a body that can perform, is athletic and serves more than just a visual purpose.
As you may know I do think there's such thing as a useless body that has no purpose, a body that's "all show and no go." Having a body that not only looks athletic, but is athletic will also be the focus. So the exercises won't just help you build muscle, but also power, speed, endurance and athleticism.
Step 1: Training Your Deltoids
Your deltoids can take a lot of punishment and recover faster than some of the bigger muscle groups, like your quads, pecs or lats. So when you're training them, really mix up the rep counts in your exercises.
Don't just stick to the same reps and sets when you're training your shoulders. I know this can be applied to any muscle group but really mix things up when training your delts.
Lift heavy, lift for hypertrophy and lift for muscular endurance.
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Your Deltoids Can Take A Lot Of Punishment
And Recover Faster Than Other Muscle Groups.
One of the big things to keep in mind when trying to build that athletic body that would attract a woman is to train to build athleticism. This means adding exercises that are more focused on performance than looks, like Olympic lifts such as cleans and snatch - which will help you build power, but also width in your shoulders and that "X" shaped body we talked about.
Here's an example of a shoulders focused workout:
- Double Kettlebell Push Press: 5 sets of 3-5 reps
- Standing Barbell Press Behind Neck: 3 sets of 10 reps
- Power Partials: 3 sets of 10 reps
- Front Two Dumbbell Raise: 3 sets of 10 reps
- Seated Bent-Over Rear-Deltoid Raise: 3 sets of 10 reps
- Lying Rear-Deltoid Raise: 1 drop set of 100 reps using light weight
A few exercises you can throw into the mix:
- Dumbbell Lying Rear Lateral Raise
- Double Kettlebell Snatch
- Standing Low-Pulley Deltoid Raise
Step 2: Building A Thicker, Fuller Chest
In order to build a thicker, fuller looking chest, you have to train the whole muscle.
Let's say there are 5 parts to your pectoral muscles: outer, inner, upper, middle and lower chest. To train every aspect of the muscle, there are also 5 different angles you can use to train each part of your chest.
Here's a chest workout you can try. There will be a few bonus exercises you can add in at the end of the workout.
- Barbell Bench Press: 5 sets of 5 reps
- Inclined Dumbbell Press: 3 sets to failure aiming for 10 reps
- Neck Press: 3 sets to failure aiming for 10 reps
- Plyo Kettlebell Push-Ups: 3 sets to failure aiming for 10 reps
Rest: 60 seconds
- Cable Cross-over: 3 drop sets to failure with 20% drops after every 5 reps
Other chest exercises to implement into your workouts:
- Bent-Arm Pull-over
- Feet-Elevated Push-Ups
Step 3: Building A Thicker, Fuller Back
We'll split the back into two muscles: the Latissimus Dorsi (lats) and the Trapezius (traps)—which will include the middle back.
We'll split the lats into two "areas" which I'll then show you how to train. Some of the exercises for your lats will cross-over into your traps, much like you'll train some of your mid-chest if you're doing incline bench.
Upper: To train the upper lat muscles use a wide grip on exercises like pull-downs, rows and chin-ups.
Lower: The lower lat muscle is worked when using a close grip in the same exercises.
Here's a back workout for you to try:
- Elevated Cable Rows: 5 sets of 5 reps
- Close-Grip Front Lat Pull-downs: 3 sets of 15 reps or to failure
- Straight-Arm Pull-downs: 3 sets of 15 reps or to failure
- Reverse-Grip Bent-Over Rows: 3 sets of 15 reps or to failure
- V-Bar Lat Pull-downs: 2 drop sets to failure with 20% drops after every 5 reps
2. Traps And Middle Back
The traps are split into the upper, middle and lower parts of the muscle.
- Incline Dumbbell Shrug: 1 set to failure aiming for 10 reps
- Incline Front Raise: 1 set to failure aiming for 10 reps
- Upright Dumbbell Row: 1 set to failure aiming for 10 reps
- Dumbbell Snatch: 1 set to failure aiming for 10 reps
Other exercises to work your traps:
- Seated Cable Rows
Step 4: Training To Build Athletic, Lean And Muscular Arms
Your biceps, triceps, and forearms are all relatively smaller muscles compared to the other muscles in your body. This means they're going to recover a lot faster than say your back, or your legs might. What this means is you can place more stress on these muscles, without worrying about burning them out (stress, primarily in the form of reps and sets).
- When you're first starting out focus on compound exercises when working arms. Exercises like close-grip bench press and dips for triceps, and chin-ups and reverse-grip bent-over rows for biceps. Your forearms will be worked in any pulling exercise, but feel free to add in a farmer's walk-type exercise if needed.
- Also for your forearm development, never use straps. If you can't lift the weight with your own two hands, then don't lift it.
- Initially focus on strength and hypertrophy, using sets with reps up to 10 reps.
- As you progress, add in higher rep counts, even burnout sets of 30 reps at the end of a set, or drop sets.
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Your Forearms Will Be Worked By Any Pulling Exercise,
But You Can Add Farmer's Walk-Type Exercises.
Step 5: Training Your Abs
One of the greatest factors in getting a well defined and muscular six pack for myself was how I treated my abdominals: like any other muscle. A lot of people train their "muscles" one way, but have a totally different set of rules when it comes to training their abs. But I have and had a different approach. Part of it was due to the fact that I needed my abs to act as "armor," protecting my midsection because I was fighting.
It's another case of me wanting more than just one aspect of fitness—I didn't just want to be lean, I wanted abdominal muscles that popped out, that protected me, and yes, maybe turned a head or two at the same time.
Train your abs like any other muscle.
- Progressively overload the weight, making sure your abs never completely adapt to the stress that you're placing upon it.
- Mix up your exercises as often as possible.
- Mix up the rep counts as well. Sometimes going to 10 reps with a heavier weight, other times doing body weighted exercises, getting to a much higher rep count.
- Also mix up the sets and angles hit the muscle.
Treating your abs like any other muscle will build thicker, more defined abdominals, that are easier to see and easier to sculpt.
Step 6: Training Legs
I'd put legs right at the top of the list as the most important group of muscles to develop when building a body that women find desirable.
- Training with a heavy weight on exercises like squats and deadlifts result in a release of Testosterone and Human Growth Hormone (HGH), two very powerful hormones that you want and need on your side for both building muscle and fat loss.
- Those hormones promote muscle production, speed up recovery and boost fat loss. So not only will you see the benefits in your lower body muscles, but your upper body muscles as well.
- A lot of guys forget about legs, think they're not important and completely neglect to train them. Aside from missing out on the benefits I have previously listed, it also looks funny to have most of your muscle concentrated on the upper half of your body. You look like "half a man," no woman wants that, they want the complete package.
- And finally, no matter what the sport, most rely on speed and power in the lower body, so if you want functionality and athleticism, don't forget to train your lower body to reach those goals.
Lift Heavy and Lift for Reps:
Build strength and continually add weight onto the bigger lifts like squats and deadlifts. Supplement in exercises like front squats, bench squats, hack squats, and even leg presses for variety. But also add in higher rep sets in there as well. Sets of 20 reps for squats or deadlifts, or any of the other exercises I mentioned in there.
I'm big on lifting heavy when training the lower body, but there's never one way to train when you want to build the absolute best body you possibly can.
Single Leg Training:
To help fix imbalances and add variety to a routine, add in some single leg days.
Try exercises like:
- Lunge (Dumbbells or Barbells)
- Barbell Side Split Squat
- Dumbbell Step-Ups
- Smith Machine Single-Leg Split Squat
Don't Forget About Your Hamstrings:
When most people think about training legs they immediately think of quads and calves, but don't forget about your hamstrings. You want a balanced body and training all aspects of your lower body is important in attaining that.
Imbalances in your lower body lead to long term back and postural problems so it's important to train every area of your lower body.
Especially when you begin to add on lean muscle, stretch at least 30 minutes a day. If you're building a body that has some functionality and athleticism to it, stretching is a must. If you want to stay injury free, have good posture, and add strength, then stretching is a must.
I'll keep this short. The majority of women want to feel protected and safe around their man, they also want to be able to snuggle up with him. They want a guy that looks lean, muscular and athletic. A guy that looks great in or out of his clothes.
Being too skinny isn't the ideal body, but neither is being too huge. I hear women say it all the time, "I want a guy with a tight butt, or tight abs, someone athletic, broad shoulders, not too big, but definitely some muscle and not a lot of fat." Okay I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea?
Identify your audience, who do you want to impress? Understand what they want most and strive to attain that physique.
I like to keep athleticism and performance at the forefront of my training and motivation, but I also want to look good. And the person I want to look good for is a girl, and I have to understand that they typically like a certain build.