The Bodybuilding.com message board is a great place to find information. At the same time, it is also a great place to have a good laugh.
There are many helpful and educated people on the forum, and then there are those who are either trying to be funny, or are simply not that smart to begin with. I have compiled some of the dumbest posts ever created on the forum. These are bound to make you laugh... Enjoy. (I hope you're not listed among them!)
Dum Deh Dumb Dumb...
MuscleGainer
Forum user 'MuscleGainer' said: "I bought Opti-men multivitamins and inside the bottle was a big piece of cotton. Is this normal or should I take it back?"
Whatuwant
'whatuwant' said: "Hey guys, I'm new here and I'm a huge believer in MuscleTech supplements! I haven't read much of the threads in here but since it's a bodybuilding forum I bet almost everyone will agree. I just got this free sample of PumpTech in the mail!!! Man I'm so pumped.
Jay Cutler was on the cover of the sample envelope. Man, that dude is huge and all he does is work out every now and then and use MuscleTech supps like crazy! D@mn! I'm so pumped to look like him. I got all the goods man! NitroTech, Hydroxycut, PumpTech, CellTech, man - anything Tech!
Click Image To Enlarge. Jay Cutler.
I can't wait to look just like Jay man. Maybe I can do some of the ads once I get going. I mean the stuff says it doesn't take too long. I figure I'll be jacked in a few weeks. D@mn this is exciting stuff. Anyway, let's here from all you MuscleTech lovers out there. Thank the bodybuilding gods for this stuff!!!"
Hklifter187
'hklifter187' said: "Hey guys, I've been lifting 2 years and I've just stumbled upon your fantastic site; I've been reading for hours! I can see a lot of people are asking questions about supplements and what not, and I'd just like to tell you my little secret that's helped me add on 30 pounds in the last year.
I call it "Hardcore MLT Casein Shakes" - What you do, right, is take 180 tabs of MLT, grind them up into a powder and then mix it in with a big @ss tub of casein protein powder (about say 10 pound tub), then every night just have 2 scoops and you'll grow like nothing else. It's unbelievable; my friends just don't believe how big I've become.
My friend has a few bottles of LAD lying around and I was wondering if you guys recon that would be better then MLT to add to my shake as far as sides go? I've been doing this for about 2 months and I've noticed I don't really have much of a libido any more so I might stop for a few weeks... isn't Test meant to make you more horny?"
SuppMonster
'SuppMonster' said: "He just signed a million dollar deal with BSN nutrition. That means he's getting all their cool supplements for free. Can you imagine how massive, cut and freaky Big Ron will look at this year's O? He's going to be off the chain! Word has it that he's already taking Nitrix, NO-Xplode and CellMass and is already in better condition than ever before.
Click Image To Enlarge. Big Ron Coleman.
I think I'll order some Nitrix from Bodybuilding.com so I can start to get pumped up too. BB.com has the best prices and service online, and BSN makes the best supps out there. And Big Ron is the best to hit the Olympia stage. Awesome!
(By the way this post is not spam; it's from a Ron, a Bodybuilding.com fan!)"
Orgasmcontrolll
'orgasmcontrolll' said: "Of all the forums, this one seems to be the most active every time I come here.... aren't supplements a little like cheating?
Steve @ Orgasm Control.com"
IronLifter849
'IronLifter849' said: "I bought Nitro Tech and I bought Cell Tech, do any of these have steroids?"
Bigdubbdeisel
'BIGDUBBDEISEL' said: "I ate about 400 calories a day with 3 hours of cardio a day for 3 weeks and lost 25 pounds!!
I lost no muscle at all because I still did as much in the weight room as 3 weeks before and it was not all water weight because I lost 4 pants sizes!! So, to the people who say the starving diet does not work, well it does; and for the people who say I'll gain the weight back, well its been about 4 months and I've been losing since!
Well to get to my question... why can't you just take a multi-vitamin so you don't lose muscle on the starvation diet?"
Getting Swole
'Getting Swole' said: "What is the Best PCT Product?
'Getting Swole' also said: "I have been taking the following stack for about 6 weeks and have gained about 25 lbs. Yeah I know, very nice, but I am having a few problems. Please don't ask me to use the search button because I have. I researched this cycle very carefully before I wanted to go big and I did.
Cycle:
- SD, 30 mg a day
- M1T, 40 mg a day
- 4-AD, 900 mg a day
- Max LMG, 75 mg a day
- Methyl Jacked, 40 mg a day
Problems:
- Balls have been hurting for about 2 weeks.
- Lower right back pain for about 3 weeks.
- I can only sleep like 4 hours a night for the last week or so.
- My temper is off the hook. I punched my car today.
- The left side of my body is a bit red.
- My shoulders are broke out like a mother.
- My teeth have been hurting for the last week.
Do you think I should go see a doctor or just stop my 9-week cycle early? Do you think I should add in Ergomax or Prostanz for the final 2 weeks? What should I take for PCT?"
JohnHowardall
'JohnHowardall' said: "I've got a quick question; I'm a little worried here. I've been taking creatine for about 3 months using a good CEE from HP. How long will this stay in my system? At my school, they've become big on random drug testing amongst athletes there on a scholarship.
I'm playing here on a hockey scholarship and I really can't blow this on some supps right. I've decided to stop but I'm worried if it will be in time, how long after I stop will it take for 100% of the creatine to be out of my system? They have an absolute 0 tolerance policy when it comes to steroid use and if they found out I would have my scholarship revoked immediately. Thanks a lot for your help in this matter."
Baseball914
'baseball914' said: "It says take 28.5 grams per serving how do I know how much 28.5 is?"
NaturalMsO
'NaturalMsO' said: "How many of you eat breads and milk as part of your daily nutrition plan? A lot of people seem to shy away from these two food products.
On the other hand, some of the best bodybuilders I know eat a ton of sandwiches and drink a gallon of milk a day. Like with most things, this topic seems to present a vast spectrum of views."
'NaturalMsO' also said: "As I'm sure most of you are aware, andro has recently been banned and dubbed illegal in the United States. My question is this: If someone bought a bottle before the ban went into effect and has a half a bottle leftover from their previous cycle, is it still considered illegal, or would it be grandfathered in?"
Latka
'Latka' said: "I take fish that I catch from the bay, and run a mini squeegee over their bodies over a bucket. Then this oil I use as omega-3 EFA's. Is this ok?"
Immichaelski
'Immichaelski' said: "Lately, every time I work out especially if I do chest, my muscles fill with so much water my nipples feel very uncomfortable and are fairly larger than usual. It usually goes away in 2 days. This never used to happen before.
I've noticed if I drink a few beers it also goes away, that's why I think it's water. Should I be drinking beer after my workouts like that or maybe that could be the problem?"
Dedicated 1
'dedicated 1' said: "Ok, here is where I'm lost. I usually cheat on Sundays and consume 6k-10k (depending how I feel) in cals and I gain the next day sometimes up 8+ lbs in water weight.
Well, I really don't follow a strict diet anymore b/c it was taking a toll on my fun in life. Well Friday and Saturday I really didn't eat much, maybe 3-5k cals with both days combined. Worked out M-F and then worked catering all night Friday and Saturday.
Well, Sunday I return home and my mom has a dozen Krispy Kreme Donuts (glaze and chocolate) - I continue to eat 8 of them and then 2 bowls of Cheerios, 1½ bowls of cookie dough ice cream, half a granola bar, and ham sandwich... all before 11 a.m. Then I go to church.
I get an Ice Mocha at the local coffee shop my friend owns at around 7 (2 shots of Espresso) and finished ½ of it. Then return home to eat 1 Jack-in-the-Box taco, chicken breast sandwich, 2 bowls of ice cream, 3 small packs of Famous Amos cookies, 2 South Beach Diet cookie packs, and 2 bowls of Cheerios, and a Kashi granola bar, plus a few peanuts all by 8:30.
My stomach wasn't even feeling full.
I wake up today eat some Egg Whites and a Kellogg's 90 K cal bar and head to school. Then after school go to the gym and I weigh myself on my usual scale and it said 136. I usually weigh 133-134.
So did my body use up all the nutrients and so really what I ate all got used up? Are those 2 lbs water weight??? I was surprised... after my workout I was 137.5 (yea, baby muscle!)."
Abyss
'Abyss' said: "Where can I get already-made chickens from?" I don't eat pork or ham or any other sort of pig meat.
So, can I get chickens that are not made from this meat from supermarkets? Thanks."
Smackaveli
'SMACKAVELI' said: "Story about how I got busted by the cops with my creatine. When I take my Creatine Creapure, I have it in little dime bags you see drug dealers selling weed in. I found it a pain in the butt lugging a big jar of creatine around, so I bought 1,000 dime bags at the local liquor store for 3 bucks. I measured out one teaspoon of creapure and filled out all the bags. I have a whole sack of these little baggies at home and I just grab two on the go before I run to the gym.
I usually take one right before my workout and another right after. I was heading to the gym when I got pulled over by the cops. I was thinking, no biggie, it's probably speeding, write me ticket and I'll be on my way. He pulls me over and sees that I have my hair all done up in cornrows with tons of tattoos covering my tank-topped body.
He then tells me to get out the car and puts my hands on the hood. He says my car matches a description of "suspected" gang activity in the area? WTF??? I know that's a crock of sh!t so I just go along with it. I have nothing to hide so I comply; he pat searches me and finds my baggies.
I totally forgot about this since it's just creatine. I explained to him what it is and where I'm going and I'm not a gangbanger. Just a computer engineer going to the gym, just your average citizen. Well, the tats and the cornrows did not help so he calls another squad car with a field test kit.
The other marked unit arrives and they start talking. "I think its Meth," the other guy says, "Could be GHB." Great. I try to tell them it's only creatine. They ignore my advice. They then pull out this fishing tackle box with all these drug kits. They test the Cocaine kit, Negative. Meth kit, Negative.
They go down the line - Heroin, Ket, XTC, GHB. Nothing. Then a Sergeant arrives and this guy looks likes he works out. I tell him its creatine; he then gets the info from his officers. He looks at me, takes the bag, tastes it and says, "Is this mono or creapure?"
I tell him it's German Creapure because I get the cramps from Mono. He looks at me up and down and from my physique, understands I'm a fellow gym rat like him. He tells his boys to let me go. I'm out there for almost two hours during this whole ordeal. I talk to the sergeant a little about training, nutrition and the local gyms.
The last thing he said was it might not be a good idea to have tons of white powdered baggies on me, since it might be mistaken as an illegal substance but also said it's a good idea that I had put them in baggies. He said he might do the same thing just so he doesn't have to lug around a 2 pound jar of the stuff also. What a day, I did my best bench that day from all the pent up anger. The End."
GainingMassX
'GainingMassX' said: "I know you people are always talkin' bad on Cell Tech but I gained 12 pounds of muscle in 3 weeks... so what do you think about those results?"
A1davida1
'a1davida1' said: "I have slight gynocomastia and I'm 18, would superdrol be ok or does the gyno mean my hormones are too unbalanced for that? I'll be taking milk thistle during and rebound XT PCT."
V8splash
'v8splash' said: "Hi all, anyone know any good supplements for working your biceps? I don't really care about chest or legs or anything. I was thinking Superdrol or Stacker 3... will these work?"
Dlotus
'dlotus' said: "hi guyz I'm new to this forum. I heard creatine is like a steroid, is it true? Thx guys."
Storm shadow
'storm shadow' said: "I hate coffee so I use Mountain Dew as a replacement, so I have about 1-2 12 oz bottles of it Mon-Fri to stay awake and energized for school and work. Will this affect my bulking up in any way, or what about when I start to cut? Are there any other quick fix for caffeine that are better than Mountain Dew?"
Killer Noob
'Killer Noob' said: "I cannot get oats post-w/o. I'm at a gym."
Ruggedhawaiian
'ruggedhawaiian' said: "Anyone else get mono while on fish oil caps?!?! I took these guys three days ago and now I have ****ing mono! What do I do?? Stop taking them, or up my dosage? I took about 3 a day and now I'm sick!!! Help!!!"
Sixzero
'sixzero' said: "What's a 'stack?' I know this is probably really stupid, too, some but if anybody can let me know or point me in the right direction as to what a stack is, is it good? Not good? When is it good? General information of this 'stack'?"
Ngage
'Ngage' said: "Does milk really contain 500 calories? So if I drink 6 cups of milk a day, can it help to bulk me up? Advice...?"
JagWarlord
'JagWarlord' said: "Can NO products make your nose bigger??? It seems like it would since NO expands blood vessels and tissue and what not.... I wouldn't want a big nose with big muscles. What do you think? Is it possible?"
Xgatoradex
'xgatoradex' said: "My NO-Xplode is wacked! Ok, I mix my NO-Xplode in a shaker cup (well most people do) and I put 2 scoops ok. Well, when I open the top it explodes open and sounds like a firecracker going off. It's a big popping noise.
Kind of like if there is a lot of pressure in the cup and when I open it the pressure releases. The only think I could think is maybe the caffeine? Anyone else do this?"
MonarchX
'MonarchX' said: "I use Diet Coke/Pepsi instead of water. I drink 1.5g of it a day, it has water and caffeine in it. I know water is healthier and Diet Coke/Pepsi do some enzyme work, but they don't give you calories either. So, would drinking just plain water instead of diet drinks boost my fat loss progress a little in general?"