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Damn My Ass Is Fat: A Simple Approach To Rapid Fat Loss

Spring is here. The trees are blooming, the beaches are getting crowded, and the time to shed those winter pounds has come. Yes, it's diet season for us bodybuilding types. Love it or hate it, the summer is the season of skin.

By: Tkarrde


EDITOR'S NOTE: This is a very hardcore approach to fat loss. Only use it if the products mentioned are legal in your country and you know what you are doing.

Spring is here. The trees are blooming, the beaches are getting crowded, and the time to shed those winter pounds has come. Yes, it's diet season for us bodybuilding types. Love it or hate it, the summer is the season of skin. And while sleeve-stretching arms are great, if they're accompanied by a protruding midsection, hiding it becomes a helluva a lot trickier this time of year.

I don't know about you, but I can't stand prolonged dieting. As Jay-Z would say, I have no patience - and I hate waiting. I guess you could call me an extremist, which as many of you probably know is a virtue and a vice. And, I'm guessing that this is a trait many of you can identify with. Bodybuilding tends to be a haven for us obsessive types, for whom moderation is boring, and even alien.

And thus, I have no desire to diet from March to June, the whole time knowing that in order to maintain my results I'll be spending the entire summer eating like a bird. And that my friends is why I've developed this little 14-day diet plan.

Some Disclaimers

    Not Exactly Novel

      Now before I go into the details of this plan, let me explain some things. First, I hold no pretense that what I am about to recommend is particularly novel. Threads in the Avant forums have been devoted to variations on this type of diet, as have old articles.

      And, I fully acknowledge that I have borrowed from this knowledge bank while preparing my plan, particularly from Spook. My goal with this article is to provide a rather simple, but not overly simple, approach to a two week 'steroid starvation' diet.

    Not A Supplement Guru

      While researching plans of this nature, I found that the information was either overwhelming or oversimplified. Often, the discussion became so elaborate and damned intelligent (in a good but erudite way) that it called for an endless number of supplements to cover every possible angle, and left everyone but the supplement-science elite rather confused.

      My formal background is not one of science - I received my B.A. in Comparative Literature for instance. And, while I fancy myself rather knowledgeable in training, diet, and supplementation (for an autodidact), I make no claims to be an elite supplement guru. And, it is for those like me that I write this article.

    Avoid The Laundry List

      So, one thing I wanted to do was craft a dieting plan that was somewhat simple in terms of recommend supplements. Often, as the science of supplements is explored, a laundry list of possibly beneficial compounds emerges.

      Not only does the cost increase, it becomes damn confusing for the average (or even above average) trainee to understand what the hell is going on - what this does, what that's for, etc.

The Plan

So that's basically the premise behind this plan; now enough banter, let's get to the details! I will first discuss the mandatory supplements you will need, after which I will touch briefly on some beneficial adjuncts you might choose to employ should finances permit.

I will then outline the diet, followed by some general training recommendations. Before I continue, I want to state that I accept no responsibility for any potential consequences resulting from a diet and supplement regimen like this.

Given the recommended supplements, it is imperative that you monitor your blood pressure as well as your heart rate on a regular basis. As always, proceed at your own risk, and consult a physician before starting any exercise or diet program.

The Supplements

Androgens Or Other Options

    First, if you're not comfortable or are unable to use a rather strong androgen, this program isn't for you. There is no way, given the recommended calorie range required for rapid fat loss, that your body can positively tolerate this program without the muscle-friendly (and fat burning, I might add) help of AAS.

    So, in terms of over-the-counter options, some good choices include 1-test or Methyl 1-test. Be sure to use a moderate to heavy dose, depending on prior androgen experience and/or bodyweight.

    Additionally, SesaThin and Fish Oil should be used to accelerate fat oxidation and enhance changes in body composition.

    Remember that when using SesaThin, your Fish Oil intake can be approximately halved from what it typically is.

    We're also going to want to use LipoDerm-Ultra. Not only with this aid in fat reduction around trouble areas, but with the large calorie deficit this plan creates, LipoDerm should help ensure there is a constant and abundant supply of liberated fatty acids for oxidation.

    If you can afford to do so, be more liberal with application sites than you normally would.


    Next I'd recommend some type of stimulant. Whether you use the traditional ephedrine/caffeine stack, or Avant's new H.E.A.T. Stack, follow the manufacturer's dosing instructions and be sure to opt for the higher end of the dosing protocol (after you have assessed tolerance, of course).

    And, what would a diet be without LeptiGen. Given the extremity of this regimen, I'd advocate use of original LeptiGen at 5 tablespoons per day, spaced between meals.

    This will provide creatine pyruvate as well, which is a plus. I'll get into specifics later when I lay out the diet plan.

So, To Reiterate

  • SesaThin
  • LipoDerm-Ultra
  • E/C or H.E.A.T. Stack
  • LeptiGen (original)

Other Supplements

    So, with the core supplements of the program laid out, other compounds that would be quite helpful include:
    • Nicotine
    • Green Tea
    • 7-keto/7-oxo (preferably topical; if oral, 300-400mgs/day)

The Diet

Tuna Anyone?

    Now that we've gotten the supplement side of things out of the way, let's turn to the diet. And what an exciting diet this is! I damn well hope that you like Chunk Light Tuna, because that's basically all you'll be living off of for the next 14 days.

    Albacore may taste better, however it has a bit more calories and costs significantly more. If you'd like to substitute Albacore for Chunk Light, go ahead and do so, however you must factor in the additional 25 calories per can and reduce consumption accordingly

    Either way, look at living off of tuna this way: given how damned cheap your daily food supply will cost,
    forking over a bit of cash on supplements is far easier to justify.

Whey & BCAAs

    In addition to tuna, some Whey protein can be used post-workout, as could some BCAAs.

    I don't really think it's necessary, though some will undoubtedly herald this statement as an indication that I'm a blasphemer of all things holy. Look, if you have Whey or BCAAs (ICE anyone?) laying around the house, great, use them.

    If not, I'm really not going to tell you that you have to run out and drop the cash for either. Remember, this is a KISS approach here. In addition to tuna, you're free to eat as much lettuce and fat free/sugar free dressing as you like.

    As an aside, if you're really odd, you can mix your tuna with lettuce, vinegar, Tabasco and garlic powder. This sounds like balls to me, but someone I know swears by it. Of course, someone else around these parts swears by broccoli, mustard and splenda. Do we need anymore proof that dieting f*&ks up your head?

Fish Oil

    To round out the tuna and lettuce, you're going to need some Fish Oil - 10 caps per day should do it, given that the inclusion of SesaThin allows you to notably reduce your Fish Oil intake.

    Also, because you'll be using a hefty dose of androgens, dietary fat's role in keeping testosterone levels up is not something you need to be terribly worried about (though this is something you'll need to consider post-cycle - more on this later).

Total Calories

    Total calories should hover in the range of 5-7 calories per pound of bodyweight, which is damn low (those that don't want to risk too much LBM loss can jump to 8 calories per pound).

    Brace yourself for some hunger pangs, moodiness, mental fogginess and lack of energy. Sleeping will seem appealing all day I'm sure, until of course you get in bed only to find you have insomnia.

      Bottom line: don't undertake this program during a high-stress time at work, school, etc.

Daily Regimen

But I digress. Let's get back to the daily regimen. Ideally, for someone who weighs 200-210lbs, your diet should look something like this (this is just an example - make changes based on sleep patterns, weight, etc., as needed):

Time Item Calories
7:30 A.M. Apply 6-8 squirts LipoDerm-Ultra (after assessing tolerance) -
8:00 A.M. 1 Can Tuna, 2 Fish Oil Caps, Lettuce if you like. 170 calories
9:30 A.M. 1 Scoop LeptiGen, 1 Cap SesaThin. 37 calories
11:30 A.M. 1 Can Tuna, 2 Fish Oil Caps, Lettuce if you like. 170 calories
1:00 P.M. 1 Scoop LeptiGen, 1 Serving SesaThin. 37 calories
3:00 P.M. 1 Can Tuna, 2 Fish Oil Caps, Lettuce if you like. 170 calories
4:30 P.M. 1 Scoop LeptiGen, 1 Serving SesaThin. 37 calories
6:30 P.M. 1 Can Tuna, Lettuce if you like. 170 calories
7:30 P.M. Apply 6-8 Squirts LipoDerm-Ultra -
9:00 P.M. 1/2 Can Tuna, 2 Fish Oil Caps, Lettuce if you like. 95 calories
9:30 P.M. 1 Scoop LeptiGen, 1 Serving SesaThin. 37 calories
11:00 P.M. 1 Can Tuna w/ Lettuce if you like, or 150 calories worth of a Casein shake, 2 Fish Oil Caps. 170 calories
Immediately Before Bed: 1 Scoop LeptiGen, 1 Serving SesaThin. 37 calories
Total Calories: 1130


  • Depending on what time you workout, you can substitute in 150 calories worth of Whey protein in place of tuna for your post-workout feeding.

  • Adjust calorie intake up or down based on bodyweight. If you're on the larger side, add in an additional tuna feeding(s) rather than increasing how much you eat per sitting. If on the other hand your weight requires you to eat any less than 1 can of tuna per four hours, reduce the amount of tuna you eat per meal. I don't want you going longer than four hours without food (save for when sleeping).

  • As you may have noticed, aside from trivial amounts in lettuce, this plan includes no dietary fiber. Due to the severe calorie deficit we want to create, adding in fiber-rich foods is not really ideal. So, I'd recommend Psyllium Husk to prevent you up. You could also use Metamucil (they now have capsules, thank god), FiberCon, or similar; just try to throw some type of fiber supplement into the mix.

  • Regardless of bodyweight, strive to keep Fish Oil, SesaThin and LeptiGen intake near-identical to what's outlined above.

  • Take your thermogenic of choice without food, 3-6 times per day (depending on what product/compounds you opt for). After assessing tolerance, it's probably advantageous to use a higher dose (not to exceed what's recommended by the manufacture of course). If using Nicotine, dose as needed (generally 2 mgs of the gum every two hours to total 16mgs, or six Camels a day if that's your fancy).

Chemically Correct: Nicotine.
Stemming from the frequent observation that cigarette smokers tend to maintain lower body weights than their non-smoking counterparts. In this issue of Chemically Correct, we take an in-depth look at nicotine...
[ Click here to learn more. ]

  • If seven days into this program you are feeling flat as hell, you have a number of options:

    1. Reduce SesaThin intake to 3 servings per day, or

    2. Depending upon how lean you are, insert a reefed/carb-up on the seventh day, which would be 12 hours in duration, and include 500 grams of carbs or so.

    Really though, given the drugs in use and the short duration of this diet, you can probably skirt through the two weeks without needing a reefed (especially for those who are beginning the program at higher bodyfat percentages).

The Training

I've learned a few things during my numerous years of training. One of those things is that there are generally three types of lifters - those that always like to follow other people's programs to the tee, those that never like to follow other people's programs, and those that fall somewhere in the middle.

Personally, I'm the type who never likes to follow someone else's training routines exactly. It bothers me. I need to customize, I need to do my own thang, and I need to justify it (okay that was bad, I admit).

So too did I once believe that there was that oft-alluded to magic bullet that would make me grow like a weed. Well, I'm here to tell you (as if you haven't heard it before) that it ain't so. At this point you're probably wondering what I'm getting at. Essentially, methinks there's not one ideal way to train that works for everyone, and I believe the same to hold true under these conditions as well.

My Advice

    My advice is to train like you always do, with a few exceptions and general recommendations. On a diet like this, even with a lot of androgens, don't expect to see too much by way of strength gains.

    Frankly, you'll be lucky if you retain your current strength levels during this period (but, they'll quickly come back with the return to a semi-normal diet, so don't fret too much about this). As such, in order to minimize strength losses, I would strongly urge you to perform about two sets of 2-4 reps in one compound lift every time you workout a given bodypart.

    So, every time you perform a chest workout, for instance, perform two maximal (or near-maximal) sets of a bench variation in the 2-4 rep range. Do the same with back, legs and shoulders. For arms, traps and calves, do this as well, however feel free to keep the weights in the 4-6 rep range.

    2 Sets Of Compund Lifts Per Body Part
    Will Help Minimize Strength Loss.

    Click To Enlarge.

    After those two sets, train however you'd like. Higher reps (8-15) will deplete glycogen faster and will be beneficial the first few days. However glycogen depletion isn't really something you need to worry too much about after 3-5 days into the program given the dearth of carbs and the use of SesaThin.

    I'd also advise you to keep volume on the moderate side, which I'm sure won't be a problem when your energy levels crash 5-7 days into the diet. Cardio is not mandatory, however some light cardio work (emphasis on light - I'd personally avoid HIIT) would probably not hurt.

The Aftermath

So, you've survived the two weeks, you're down 8-12 pounds of fat, and the question has become: how the hell do I return to normal eating without:

  1. Binging like mad and/or

  2. Regaining much of the fat I lost.

This is a very good question. And while these fears cannot be 100% guarded against, there are a few tactics you can use to minimize the threat.


    First, in terms of supplements/drugs, I recommend you begin use of topical 7-oxo if you haven't already (or high-dose oral 7-keto), to help bring your metabolism back in line.

    If you terminate your androgen cycle at the 14 day mark, begin an anti-estrogen immediately. Additionally, for those with access, low-dose (12.5-25mcgs) T3 may help prevent fat rebound. Although you should be careful with this, because T3 will probably cannibalize some muscle tissue in addition to preventing fat gain, given the unfavorable hormonal milieu.

Maintain Androgen Use

    Another option, which I think preferable from the standpoint of muscle preservation, is to continue the androgen(s) for a third or even fourth week (especially if you decide to use low-dose T3). You could then gradually raise calories to maintenance over the course of the next seven to fourteen days, and the continued use of androgens would significantly decrease the likelihood of serious fat rebound.

Post-Cycle Therapy

    Additionally, if you begin post-cycle therapy (PCT) after week three or four, your metabolism has hopefully had some time to stabilize, allowing for an easier transition to PCT and again reducing the chance of fat gain.

    Whatever avenue you choose, keep using E/C or H.E.A.T Stack, along with LeptiGen and perhaps most importantly SesaThin. If you have Ab-Solved, I'd throw it into the mix as well.

Bring Calories Up Slowly

    So far as diet during this time is concerned, though it may feel impossible, try to ease back into maintenance intake over the course of a few days (this process can be more gradual if you decide to stay on androgens for another week or two). If you lose it and eat like shit once or twice, it's understandable - but try to bring calories up by 200-300 or so per day, until you've returned to your maintenance levels.

    Once there, I'd hold at that intake or a little above for a couple of weeks as your body becomes once more accustomed to normal calorie levels and you go through post-cycle therapy (PCT). One other option would be to refeed for twelve hours on the 15th day (but watch it, this could get out of hand very quickly), after which you begin the process of raising calories described above. But if you have the willpower, I'd skip the refeed.


Well, that's the plan. If you can stick with it, it will certainly yield very impressive results that, provided the post-diet period is negotiated carefully, you can hold on to for quite some time.

If you have any questions or would like to offer feedback, please don't hesitate to contact me through the Avant forums.

Get The 'Damn, My Ass Is Fat' Stack Today!

    The Products:
    1 - LeptiGen Basic - 200 Grams, Fruit Punch
    2 - SesaThin - 3.75 Fl. Oz.
    1 - LipoDerm-Ultra - 4 Fl. Oz.

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