The dilemma is clear whenever one partner participates in a healthy habit and the other one doesn't follow - this could be the recipe for some bad tasting meatloaf.
The big question is not how do you overcome accepting your mate as he/she is. The real question rather, is: how long will it take you to realize that if both you and your partner don't work as a team to continuously improve in life then... how long will it take for you to leave him/her?
Am I being ostentatiously rude when I make this selfish statement? I don't think so. I think the number one goal for any team is to get better. If one is working harder than the other, then the team is not winning in this game of life and might as well work as individual players.
Our world is made up of energy - that's a fact. If you have a powerful energy that is positive, progressive, persistent, while the other 'half' of you is negative, non-conforming and neglectful, then be weary of the 'energy' that person will literally 'consume' out of you. There are people who will 'take' your energy - and there are people who 'give' you energy.
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What Does Love Have To Do With It?
Love is about giving, not taking. If you want someone who will live long and healthy enough to provide the loving energy we breathe and thrive upon... then read on.
I'm not suggesting that everyone break up and divorce their partners who are unfit, unhealthy and unmotivated. I am suggesting that you become aware of this disastrous recipe of 'living with separate habits' and start providing the 'love' it will take for that person to make a progressive and healthy change in his/her life.
First Create The Commitment
The most potent way you can support your mate is by allowing him/her to become 'aware' of their current situation and allow him/her to make a 'choice' on changing his/her life. Allowing your mate to recognize and utilize the power of 'free will', the power of 'choice' and the power of 'right now' will empower him/her to get in shape because he/she recognizes his/her own personal prophecy.
Making The Sell
|WHAT'S YOUR GOAL?|
Ask questions. By asking questions, you own the conversation. By owning the conversation you can begin to dictate the final answers. Go ahead and ask your mate what makes him/her happy?
Ask what he/she loves to do? Ask when he/she was at his/her best physical shape? How did it make him/her feel? What kind of things did he/she enjoy then?
After you start letting him/her recall past memories or desires for better physical conditioning, start dictating the route of the conversation...
After you let your partner absorb his/her dreams and future goals, subtly start coinciding those dreams with living a healthy lifestyle.
Get A Written Agreement
After your partner exposes his/her current mental awareness and future aspirations, take a pen and write it down. Write it down so they can see how the 'dream' just turned into a 'goal.' Taking action in any form takes you one step closer to achieving your goal.
Build & Bring On Confidence
As a team, not only is your goal to build confidence within your mate that he/she can achieve fitness goals, but you are also building confidence inside the trust of the relationship.
Your partner trusts you and your ability as the prime fitness motivator to assist him/her in education, support, guidance and assistance. Be there for your partner and never allow the trust of the relationship to wither.
Doin' It Together!
In order to maintain balance and power control in the relationship, also make it known that you are also trying to improve yourself physically. Allow yourself to become as vulnerable as he/she so that your mate doesn't feel 'alone.'
Set a goal with your mate - whether it is to take a vacation, buy a special treat or plan a special date once you both reach your goals. Creating an end date followed with a prize will keep you both focused and motivated throughout the journey.
Provide The Tools
As an attentive partner, give him/her tools that will assist in his/her success.
Provide a workout journal, a gym membership, healthy cook books, a subscription to a fitness magazine, supplements, or even personal training to help assist in this process. Delivering the supplies needed in this long journey towards self improvement will increase your chances of success.
Make It Fun! Fun! Fun!
Never plan on sticking to anything unless it's fun. Try to keep your mate's mind away from the program by getting him/her involved in activities such as biking, walking, dancing or skiing. There's a ton of things that physically challenge the body that are fun and more favorable to your mate than running on the treadmill.
Create & Facilitate The 'Habit'
All new stimuli's eventually become 'habits' - you start to perform actions without thought or awareness that you are even doing them... and that is what you want to eventually achieve out of your mate and the fitness program.
For example, make 7 a.m. become the workout hour for both of you. Play racquetball on Sundays or go dancing on Friday nights. Make eating egg white omelets and oatmeal for breakfast the 'day starter.' Start creating and facilitating habits that will encompass the daily, weekly and monthly life of your mate.
Support! Support! Support!
Did I mention that you need to give support?! Times will get tough eventually. Plateaus will happen. Mood swings will set in. And life will get challenging. The most important part of this entire process towards 'bettering' your team is to remain supportive.
| What's A Plateau?
A level of attainment or achievement in weight loss or bodybuilding where one gets "stuck in a rut", barring further progress or noticable results. As obvious as it may seem, if you continue to do the same thing, you will continue to get the same results. Click here for tips on breaking through plateaus.
While you may not be the one undergoing a huge lifestyle change... one day you will undergo something, so it's important to remain as understanding, supportive and helpful during times of discomfort, distress and depression. You will one day go through something difficult, too. The most important thing to remember is that challenges will pass.
Live & Learn As A Team
Our 'partner in life' is essentially the only team we will be blessed enough to play with for most of our life. As both of you grow, you will add additional members, like kids, your family, your co-workers, and your community... hopefully all in an effort to be better people each day!
If you want to build trust, compatibility, and communication and love you have to play together - experience life together - experience challenges and success together. While playing this game of life by yourself is more controlled and sometimes more fun, playing with others gives you the break you need when you can ride off the energies of other people who love and support you.
Become The Role Models
In the beginning of this article, I defined love as 'giving' and not 'taking'. One of the steps that will ultimately allow you and your mate to stay fit for life is by making a commitment to other people - make a commitment to help other couples, kids, family and friends to generate the 'love energy' that exists when you become passionate about achieving a worthy dream.
By making a commitment to helping others get healthy, you are not only becoming a role model but you are also choosing to become accountable to yourself and your health.
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