Why is finding a suitable partner so difficult? Why is it that just when you think you have finally found the right one something pops up, some slight change that throws a complete spanner in the works?
Like Finding A Pair Of Gloves...
If only finding a relationship that fits was like finding that perfect pair of training gloves. You go into the store with a good idea in mind as to what you need, want and are trying to achieve. The shop assistant proceeds to talk you through the display of gloves that he (or she) thinks you might be interested in, discussing the pros and cons of each style.
You can view each pair thoroughly and even try a few pairs on before making any concrete decisions. You can deliberate for as long as you like trying to decide which pair will best assist you in your bench press, chin ups and other lifts before paying and leaving happily with your final purchase. Not so with a relationship, it seems that the moment after you kiss you sign some sort of unofficial agreement making it hard to put down to try the next size on.
Once the novelty has faded and the smoke of the initial fires has worn off you begin to see clearly again and re-evaluate your values, values that perhaps didn't seem nearly so important in your lust struck state a few weeks prior. You try to get back into your training routine and pick up where you were before that sexy new face distracted you.
That shouldn't be such a problem usually, but what if this new face in your life doesn't follow the same ideals as you? They don't pay attention to what they eat the way you do and they are lucky if they get to the gym once a week. What happens when you figure out that what is important to you just isn't on their priority list?
Now you are faced with the question 'is their support enough or do I need them to be on the same path as I am?' It's a very fine line and often leads to a lot of frustration.
|Is their support enough or do I need them to be on the same path as I am?|
If your partner is happy to stand by as you cook endless amounts of chicken breasts, separate egg yolks from whites by the dozen and chew your way through bowls of oatmeal every morning….. Should it matter if they don't eat with you? If they wash and dry you gym gear and make sure you actually make it to the gym when you say you will….. Is this enough?
Do they really understand how important this 'training life' is to you? How long before the novelty wears off? Will they soon get sick of hearing about how much you lifted or how you did so great to avoid that bagel at breakfast? Do they really care? When does this support need to be a mutual interest to keep the relationship on track?
Soon after comes the first dinner at their friends' house, you try to explain in advance to the cook what your diet is like (crossing your fingers as you do so) and feel as though you covered everything as politely as possible. You arrive on the night with a cool confidence that everything will be ok, but what shows up? White rice risotto, lots of bread and a salad that is more dressing than lettuce.
You appreciate the cook's effort and don't want to appear ungrateful so you eat what you are given and smile quietly. Meanwhile it takes you two days to recover and you can't help but wonder how you are going to avoid the next dinner invitation!
Now there is probably two ways to avoid this:
- Don't be such a fussy pain in the arse!
- Or, see someone who has similar values to you.
Like I said when does this fine line become too fine and when is it more of a hindrance than a help.
Does That Perfect Person Exist?
Then begs the question…. Is there such a person out there? Is there a right fit for you or is it just a matter of adjusting to what you have. Putting on a thicker pair of socks when the shoes are too big, wrapping the lifting strap round your wrist one extra time and hand mixing your protein shake when really you would prefer it blended.
It's a hard question to answer and I guess the response is different for everyone. Some people are intent to lift with gloves whether they fit or not, while others would prefer to lift without them until the perfect fit comes along. The right fit doesn't come easily; it often takes some experimenting even when you were so sure you had made the right purchase in the first place.
But when you do find that perfect fit, be grateful, don't keep it squashed in your gym bag or pushed to the back of your locker. Look after it to ensure it doesn't fall apart… and when you have finished with your gloves, spare a thought for your partner and be thankful that you have found the one that fits!