That Time Of The...No Avoidance!

A time when men have more attitude than menstruating women, a time when we all turn in to hypochondriacs and pretend to be sick to get out of what lies ahead.
WEEK. That's right, its come along once a week. A time when men have more attitude than menstruating women, a time when we all turn in to hypochondriacs and pretend to be sick to get out of what lies ahead. You all know what I am talking about, the day when its time to train... do I dare say it ... I dare I dare ... QUADS. All you hardcore bodybuilders know what I am talking about, none of us look forward to climbing underneath a 400 pound squat rack, only to spend at least a minute of cranking out deep full squats while our eyes gush blood and our heart just says "F#@K it, you're on your own." If this quad-monthly event is so brutal then why do we do it. I'll tell you why, because there is nothing freakier than walking into a gym with your spandex coach's shorts on, strutting to the back where the old dusty squat racks are while people duck behind their nautilus curl machines in order to avoid your quad jumping out and hitting them in the eye. Your gigantic 30-inch quads that hang over your knee, the same ones that make you get size 40 pants when your waist is only 34, this is why we do it. Nothing satisfies me more than having bigger legs than most people's waistlines. By this time everybody should by putting on their gym shorts getting ready to go blast them while reading the rest of this looking for a good routine to do. Well sit down son, I got one for you. Awhile back in high school I ran across a routine called Bulldozer Quads and decided to give it a try. We started out having four of us, at the end I was the only one left in the gym. Everyone else...was dead. It was a giant set of four exercises performed right after each other, four times around. Lets get into it, shall we.

First thing you need to do is get 60% of your max set up in the gym on the Hack Squat, Squat bar, Leg Press and Leg extension. You start with Leg Extensions at 60% of your ORM, take a seat and strap in. You crank out 15 reps of this while squeezing for 2 seconds at the top of the movement. I like to point my toes in to work my outside sweep, but I am going to leave the entire foot placement on all the exercises up to you based on what you need. Right after you finish 15 reps, get over the Squat rack set at 60% and get it placed just right. Knock out 15 reps going down to where your hamstrings melt into your calves and squeezing at the top for 4 (four) seconds. From here, get comfortable on the Leg Press, and hit 15 reps deep, but no squeezing at the top. Form here, jump on the hack squat and crank out another 15 reps getting all the way down and squeezing at the top for 3(three) seconds.

Wasn't that fun!! Well get your a$$ back up and reset the weights for 70% of your ORM. This time go through and only do 10 reps with the same amount of time squeezing on the exercises. Go hard though, don't slack off.

Hopefully you are getting the idea of what's going on. The third time around you need to set the weights to 80% and do 7 reps no squeezing. The fourth time around, 90% for 4 reps. The catch here though, double all the times for squeezing at the top.

Damn boy, how was that. Does it suck... yes Does it hurt like no other... yes Will it make you quads bigger than a 460 cc engine... yes!!!! So suck it up and do it already.

A couple important things to remember:

  • 1. Form is crucial on all exercises. Without proper form, you won't get the most out of it. Practice perfect form even if you have to lower the weight.
  • 2. Warm up very well for this, get a sweat going. Stretch every body part thoroughly.
  • 3. Don't quit until your eyes bleed. Some of you may want to give up after the first time around. DO yourself and your legs a favor and don't. Finish it.
  • 4. Get Big or Die

If you have any questions about technique or anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. That's what I am here for.