Things That Make A Bodybuilder Say, 'HMMMMM'...

As a bodybuilder, you spend countless number of hours working to perfect your physique. In doing so, you are subjected to an environment filled with all types of activities that just make you want to say,
As a bodybuilder, you spend countless number of hours working to perfect your physique. In doing so, you are subjected to an environment filled with all types of activities that just make you want to say, "HMMMMM...". I thought I'd lighten things up a bit and talk about some of the not so normal, funny, and sometimes less than intelligent things I've seen while training in the gym.

"Scream (and not the movie!)"

Every gym has to have at least one. I know you will easily create an image in your mind of the person that I'm about to talk about. He's the guy that, for some reason, feels it's his obligation to yell at the top of his lungs before performing a set. Makes you want to just say, HMMMM...". What makes it even more astonishing is that this person will be lifting a small amount of weight. I've had and have the privilege to experience quite a few occasions where the "Screamer" has made his presence known. Although it may seem as though it provides a psychological edge, it has been proven, through research, that yelling before or during an exercise provides no benefit whatsoever. It can, however, be very distracting. My first reaction when I hear someone scream is, "OH GOD!, someone's stuck beneath a barbell" or "OH NO!!, someone tore a muscle"! When ever I am in the presence of a screamer in the gym, I always remember something I was told when I first started training. I was having a conversation with a lady who was training next to me when a screamer yelled at the top of his lungs. Trying to suppress my laughter, she turns to me and says, "Ya know, I always heard that the noises a person makes while training are the same ones they make while in bed". After hearing that, I nearly urinated on myself. Although funny at the time, I think she was right! What to do think? Makes you say, "HMMMMMM..."

"The Baby Sitter"

How many times have you been pounding through a workout and you look up to see the next piece of equipment you need in order to continue the barrage of punishment currently being used? To keep your intensity, you bypass the desired equipment for now and decide to come back to it later. Finally later arrives and you look up and the piece of equipment is STILL in-use by the SAME person! Okay, you say to yourself, I'll come back to it. Later, and again, you turn to check if the equipment you need is yet available. Again, the same person is sitting there. To top it off, they've been having a conversation with someone else for the past 15 minutes! These are what I refer to as "Baby Sitters". They feel the need to baby sit equipment for long periods of time. What makes you say, "HMMMMMM...", is when you politely ask to work-in, they look up and say, "I have 2 more sets and it's all yours". Knowing they could have completed 20 sets in the amount of time they had been sitting idle, you not only say, "HMMMMM...", you do everything possible to not lose your temper. To avoid a confrontation, I will politely insist on working in between those "2" sets fearing another 15 minute delay! So, if you are in search of a really good baby-sitter, you may want to start at your local gym. I'm sure you'll find several qualified experts!

"Silent But Deadly"

Okay, "Who did it"? Who "broke one off" while my mouth was open! Makes you say, "HMMMMM...". Unfortunately, and I have been guilty of it myself, we will all someday let one go while training in the gym. It's a natural bodily function right? The only bad thing about it is that it occurs while you are in close proximity with several others. The good thing is that, if it happens during peak gym hours, you can usually get away with letting loose without anyone really knowing who did it. It's not like you will have a cloud of smoke following you around. It also depends on whether it was a silent (but deadly) one or not. Benefits of flatulence are that it usually indicates a properly functioning digestive system. While performing squats, it can also provide a little extra propulsion and allow you to squeeze out a couple more reps! Seriously though, during competition dieting, it is common for bodybuilders to be a bit more gassy than usual so all you non-bodybuilders, if you wonder who let one, just look to the nearest bodybuilder in-training. If you work out in a gym with several bodybuilders and have no way of knowing who broke one, remember two things, 1. Don't light a match and 2. Head for the nearest exit if someone does!

"Let Go My Ego"

"Let Go My Ego" is a common theme that must be adapted by any successful bodybuilder. This is where you must convince your mind that your body will grow and develop with proper technique, form, and most of all nutrition. It is not always necessary to lift massive amounts of weight all the time and sacrifice good form and technique to do so. Inevitably, you will always have at least "one" who feels the need to place more weight on the bar than even Ronnie Coleman himself will lift on a regular basis. What makes you say, "HMMMMM...", is that since you look like you work-out, you are a prime candidate to spot this person. Being the nice person you are, you gladly agree to spot them. Just before they begin, they look up and ask you, "Give me a lift-off on 3 and make me work"! You respond by saying, "Okay, on 3". One, two, three lift. The person holds the weight for a moment and then, in the blink of an eye, the weight accelerates straight down. You fear the worst thinking that the person over-estimated their abilities and may be seriously injured. With all your strength, you apply as much resistance to slow the downward plunge of the weight. The thud it makes at the bottom almost makes you cringe! You breathe a sigh of relief when you notice that the person is not hurt and you begin to pull the weight up and towards the rack. As you do, the most unbelievable thing happens. The person murmurs in a low and strained voice, "Help me get one more...". Your mouth nearly hits the floor in amazement as you think to yourself, "You didn't even get the last one. You repeat the process. After its over, you begin to quickly move to the other side of the gym in hopes that the person won't ask you again. As you move away, the person asks the question heard around the world, "How much did you help"? Makes you want to say, "HMMMMM...", a whole damn lot! From that day forward, anytime you see that person you turn and head in the opposite direction.

"Dressed to Impress?"

You see him and you want to ask, "So, did you forget something today"? Who am I talking about? It's that guy, you see him, the one who wears the dress socks to the gym. At first you thought, "He must have forgotten his gym socks". However, after seeing him in the gym several more times, he is still wearing those "dress socks"! It reminds me of the movie "Serial Mom" in which Kathleen Turner plays a house mom who goes out on a killing spree. What is comical about the movie is that she preys on people who do things that irritate her. For instance, there is a scene at the end of the movie where a juror, during her trial, is wearing white shoes before Easter. She gets angered by the fact that anyone would wear white before Easter! Anyway, seeing a person wearing dress socks in the gym doesn't make me want to kill them but it sure makes me say, "HMMMM...".

Well, that was fun. A little comic relief never hurts. Hey, thanks again for reading and I shall return!

Delbert

"The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, But in what direction we are moving."
--- Oliver Wendell Holmes ---