| Article Summary:
With Valentine's Day here, love is in the air for many couples, but how do many of us truly celebrate this day of romance? Is such a day even needed? Well, according to Mr. Romance himself, Tony Catanzaro, we could all probably do with a little reminder to spread more love around, and to give of ourselves wholeheartedly to our significant other.
As bodybuilders, we are supposed to be concerned with how we look, but in the interests of establishing a healthy love life we must balance this with a fair amount of consideration paid to finding a potential mate. With all the self-concern that supposedly typifies bodybuilders and bodybuilding, is it possible to maintain a normal relationship with a non-devotee? Read on to find out.
In the following article Tony Catanzaro, a man known for his astute insights into the ever-complex field of romance and the relationships that are in many ways underpinned by this quality, speaks out about how you can, as a bodybuilder, improve the quality of your love life.
With a long marriage to his wife Tina, a woman to whom he expresses his love daily and for whom he adores, Tony is one man who has attained what many seek, but few find: true love. That he is constantly occupied with training and dieting has not dampened his live life and the passion he shares with his wife is as strong as ever. How does he achieve this?
Building up the physique is great way to attract the opposite sex. What are some of the body parts of interest to a potential mate and how can we develop them to the max? What are the most effective ways to improve sexual performance via nutrition, supplementation and training? How can you cultivate the positive outlook and confidence levels needed to win hearts? Read on.
What is romance and why is it important for the ongoing cultivation of one's relationship as it specifically relates to bodybuilding and bodybuilders? How can bodybuilders keep that spark of love alive when the next workout is beckoning?
How important is sex to a relationship and how can one's sex life be improved through bodybuilding? What potential differences can force men and women apart, and bring them together again, and how might a firm, toned body attract a potential partner to begin with?
For the answers to these questions and a host of others look no further.
Happy Valentine's Day
[ Q ] Tony. Most people could use more romance in their life. What advantages are there to building the body beautiful as a way in which to inject passion (no pun intended) into one's life?
Well David I believe everyone wants to feel loved. Some people are happy with the love of just their family and friends, but then there are others like myself that want love from the whole world. Of course a person's appearance is what will attract the opposite sex, but it's not just the appearance it goes well beyond that, I'll explain.
You see, we all have what I like to call "THE FLOW". You can't learn it in a book or obtain it in a dictionary because it only exists in your energy. It's when you are in the moment. When you're completely honest with yourself then that's when the flow comes out.
Click Image To Enlarge.
When You're Completely Honest With Yourself
Then That's When The Flow Comes Out.
Now there can be a good flow and bad flow. A good flow for example would be that you walk into a room and own it! Another would be that you walk into a room and want to run out. This is where confidence and attitude will cause what flow you're in.
Everyone wants to build outer beauty, but the inner beauty will always shine through, good or bad. When one focuses on the body and nurtures it in a loving way, it's a beautiful thing.
That's why bodybuilding done naturally is so much more than just lifting weights in the gym. It involves a total approach of which includes a positive outlook 24/7, correct eating and supplementation and the confidence required to take control over your destiny. Use the flow to control your circumstances.
Most people don't understand what love is all about. Some look at the material aspect or the outer shell as I like to call it. Some feel the more affectionate you are and the more you hug and kiss, the more you love each other when just the opposite is true.
You see, if you hug and kiss because you want to, then it's okay. But when you hug and kiss because you want to show the other person you love them, then there is some insecurity there. To always have passion and romance in your life, always be spontaneous and always keep them guessing.
[ Q ] As a bodybuilder who, by virtue of this, pays more attention than the average person to what he eats and lives his life, how would you plan for a weekend away that is both conducive to your ongoing physical development and enjoyable for your partner and yourself?
Good question, when you're a true bodybuilder, you're a bodybuilder in the gym, at home, at work, at the mall, at a club, at a restaurant, at the park - everywhere you are, you're a bodybuilder. So, yes, you're always thinking as a bodybuilder should. For instance, your meals, your
sleep, your activities, your workout schedule.
So when you are in a relationship with someone, it's almost as if that person lives the bodybuilding lifestyle with you. That doesn't mean they have to eat and train the same as you, but your partner will become very accustomed to your daily routine.
Tina will look at me sometimes and say, would it kill you to eat one meal that doesn't have protein in it? I'll laugh and say something like, "What do you want me to do eat, a whole dish of macaroni and sauce?" Tina would then say, "Mmmm that sounds good." So yes, it's okay to do your own thing as long as your partner respects it. Then you can easily enjoy your time together.
[ Q ] Is it important that a bodybuilder look for someone with a compatible outlook, or can a relationship work regardless of whether one party has no interest in training and dieting? What problems could arise here?
You both don't have to be bodybuilders to have a great relationship. All it takes is having an understanding of your partner's lifestyle. I have been working out for over 20 years, and I've been together with Tina now for over 15 years. And the truth is, I never, ever workout with Tina.
I think that's another reason why we have been together so long. I feel that if two people are together in everything they do, the relationship becomes unbalanced. You both need your own time for yourselves.
When I workout, that's my time, and when Tina does her animal rescue volunteer work, or other hobbies like baking then that's her time. I feel for a relationship to work each person must have their own space and time for their own thing.
[ Q ] Based on your observations and the lifestyle you have lived for so long, is it easy to live with a bodybuilder? What considerations must one make when aiming to begin a relationship with a bodybuilder?
The bodybuilding lifestyle is one of the hardest to understand and deal with. For example, let's say you're a pro
baseball player. You play, you practice and you
travel but you can also eat pizza, cake, and drink
alcohol, stay up late and so on. You're a ball player when you're on the field. But in bodybuilding, it's like there's a Bodybuilding God watching everything you do.
In bodybuilding, to be a success you need to follow the 'four commandments of bodybuilding', which are: Eat, Train, Rest, and Do it all over again. This can become very boring for your partner who may not understand this lifestyle. So it's very important that they understand and respect this lifestyle in order to have a relationship with a bodybuilder.
[ Q ] What are some ways - both physical and mental - bodybuilding can improve one's sex life?
I feel that bodybuilding not only improves your health and well being, I also believe it can promote a normal healthy
sex life. Because when you're training, you're
testosterone levels are much higher, blood is flowing and
stress is being released.
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger said in the movie Pumping Iron: "When I'm working out, it's like having sex with a woman." What he was trying to say was that the feeling the body gets from pumping iron can be as stimulating as a sexual release. I don't agree totally, but I understand where he is coming from. Those of you, who are reading this and considering bodybuilding to enhance your sex life, get in the gym and start pumping!
[ Q ] What supplement and nutritional strategies can help one to improve their performance in the bedroom?
I've heard of many supplements that support a healthy energy level. I haven't tried any of them because thankfully I don't need any. Bodybuilding.com offers a wide variety of natural alternatives such as
Tribulus. Also a great, well balanced diet of
carbohydrates and good
fats will help as well.
[ Q ] What an advantage does being in shape hold for one who wants to attract the opposite sex?
Being in shape makes you feel better about yourself. And feeling better about yourself means you'll have more confidence in and out of the bedroom. Always remember that getting in shape and taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
Like I always said, "God made us and it would be disrespectful for us to let ourselves go." It's like someone gives you a beautiful car and you destroy it, never clean it or maintain it. You have to have the most important respect of all: "self-respect".
I guess that all depends upon the person, but bodybuilding and endurance does help one appreciate and enjoy sex much more than if one was out of shape and insecure about themselves. It's great to know you look good and can turn your partner on.
[ Q ] As most of us know from experience and based on what popular opinion suggests, performance in the bedroom is one of life's great pleasures and something that is an important part of any couples' relationship. What are some ways people can improve their "bedroom" performance? How can they add spice to their evenings' in?
I think that the worst thing you can do in the bedroom is the same old thing. It's like working out: if you do the same workout over and over, you probably wouldn't do it anymore. The same goes for sex. I have no problem having sex in places you wouldn't even think of, obviously with Tina's approval of course. I wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable. It's good to be adventurous.
[ Q ] And how important is sex life to a relationship?
Not as important as one may think, in my opinion. I believe that sex is great and I love sex. But I don't think one should base their relationship on it. Here's why: if you base your love for one another on your sex life, then that's what you'll have: a marriage based on sex. I would much rather have a marriage based on love. Love rules over everything.
[ Q ] Big muscles turn some women off, while others find them sexy. Is there a particular 'muscular' look that women fall for?
That question puzzles me because women are very complex and every woman is different. I know woman that like guys' with big bellies and some that get turned off by that. I think a lot of it depends on the self-confidence of that particular woman.
I notice that woman who are out of shape go for guys who are out of shape, as well, just for the simple reason they wouldn't feel comfortable with a guy that's in shape if they themselves weren't.
Women ask me this question all the time: your wife must be beautiful? I could never be with someone like you, I wouldn't even dream of letting you see me with my clothes off. This is because they don't have self-confidence in themselves, which (not having self-confidence) I feel is the worst thing in the world. Learn to love yourself and you well see how fast you get in shape.
[ Q ] I know the gym is supposed to be a place for serious training, but what are some of the best ways to attract a potential partner in this environment? What pickup lines would you use if you were single? How would you dress and act?
I would say the best pick up line is no pick up line. If I were a woman, I would hate that. I would just want the guy to be himself and honest. Be yourself and don't be ashamed to tell the other person how you feel about them.
Most people today play games with each other. "Well he didn't call me, so I'm not going to call him", or "he calls me too much" or "she doesn't call me anymore". Just be honest with one another and if it's meant to be, it will be. But most of all don't be desperate. You don't have to look for love. Love is looking for you.
[ Q ] What male/female body parts tend to attract the opposite sex? How would you best build these areas?
It's hard to say because everyone's preferences are different. I would think most women are attracted to a man's chest, arms, shoulders and waist line. This all comes down to what I have always said: it's not about being big - it's about being balanced.
You can have the biggest chest in the gym, but if your stomach is just as big, you're not going anywhere. Focus your training on building a well tapered physique. Shape is everything. And shape first begins with a small waistline.
[ Q ] Can you provide a program for building the "sexy muscles" - the waist, shoulders, arms and chest?
In order to build that perfect taper and balance between the waist, shoulders, arms and chest I would follow this workout plan.
Start your workout with
broomstick twists for about 3-5 minutes without stopping. This will help shrink the waistline. Then go into four sets of
decline bench crunches for upper abs: 20-25 reps.
Finally: complete four sets of decline reverse leg raises for the lower abs.
[ Q ] What is the most effective form of cardio you have done to strip body fat?
The best cardio I believe is a light jog or EFX machine for about 30-40 min done early in the day. The bottom line is you're not going to see those muscles if they are covered with layer after layer of body fat. The
goal is to get the muscle up and the body fat down. That's the key.
First of all if you're a guy and you cook dinner for a woman, you're in, as long as you don't poison her. I would prepare some seafood like broiled salmon with some shrimp, a nice wild rice, and some steamed asparagus with fresh lemon and virgin olive oil.
And don't forget to have a little champagne, as it's not as bad for you as you might think. Maybe for desert a little raspberry sorbet and some nice romantic music. Try this and if it doesn't work, email me (laughs).
[ Q ] You have just arrived home from the gym after a late night training session. You are exhausted. What would be the best way to 'rise to the occasion' should your partner want some 'attention' at this time?
If you're coming home from the gym that exhausted you're probably
overtraining, which obviously does more harm than good. My training regimen goes something like this. I train five days a week, I also take one full week off where I won't even touch a weight every six weeks.
Six weeks on, one week off. And I'll do this all year long. You see, you have to understand that your body doesn't grow in the gym. You need equal amounts of rest as training to make gains and I feel taking this week off every six weeks does it for me. It's a great way to fully recharge your muscles.
Remember: you gained most of your muscle growth when you first started working out. This is because before then the muscle wasn't used to an intense stimulus. Hit them while they are fresh and you will grow - guaranteed. Then you will have all the energy in the world for some extra attention.
[ Q ] There is a thought that sex before competition - bodybuilding or otherwise - is a bad thing as this may dilute a competitor's energy, focus and aggression levels. Some coaches even prohibit sex before competition. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know where that came from, but I don't agree. Sex is a great way to relax the body, and it's totally natural. I don't believe in sex every day, though. A good rule would be once or twice a week. You don't see animals having sex every day.
When a man has sex it takes a lot from his body in the form of blood and fluids, so too much sex is not good and not enough sex is not good either. Balance is everything.
[ Q ] How important is it to maintain a lean appearance when attracting the opposite sex? Why are women, for the most part, turned on by 'in shape' guys?
I think it all comes down to the law of reproduction. You see, a woman is attracted to a guy that appears strong and healthy without her actually being aware of it. This is nature's way of letting the woman know that she can produce children with him. The same goes for men, and that is why we're attracted to breasts and the healthy glow of a woman's hair, her smell, sexual health, age, and so on.
It's nature's way of telling us she can have children. Now, of course, there's a lot more to it, but that's the law of physical attraction. So if you're out of shape and weak looking, you're not going to win first place in the sack. Although there are different strokes for different folks, but the bottom line is muscle talks and fat walks.
[ Q ] Losing the romantic spark that adds passion to a relationship is a common concern among couples wanting to re-establish quality within their relationship. How can couples maintain an element of romance within their relationship to live a fulfilled and meaningful life together?
First off, remember that a relationship is like the tires on your car. They go through many bumps, pot holes, good weather, bad weather storms and sunshine. The true test is the strength of the relationship; "the tires".
If Tina and I were to run for the hills after each argument or problem, then we would have been separated from the beginning. Remember, every good relationship has its battles as well.
Life is a huge roller coaster and for anyone to say it's not and life can be dull and boring, well then, my friend, you're not living. So get up off the couch and live your life. There is a world of lessons to be learned.
[ Q ] You yourself are regarded as a star in the romance world with your book cover work and personal appearances. In your view, just how important are looks when aiming to attract the opposite sex? Is personality more important, or is it the complete package?
Well obviously looks are the first thing a person sees, but like I always said, "There has to be something behind the looks." Inner beauty will always show through someone's eyes.
When trying to attract the opposite sex, be confidant, not overbearing. You want them to know you're attracted to them, but you don't want to drool over them. Hint, "Nobody wants what they know they can have". Be interesting and most of all be yourself. Also the way you dress tells a lot about you.
[ Q ] With Valentines Day around the corner, romance is in the air for many couples. This day is typically seen as a time where couples can connect and express their love for one another. What does Valentines Day mean to you Tony?
Valentines Day is a great way to reflect on one's love for someone. You don't have to be in a relationship to give someone a flower or tell them: Happy Valentines Day. Just don't overdo it, like buying your best friend's wife a dozen roses.
It doesn't hurt to wish your sister or brother Happy Valentines Day or even your mom and dad. Valentines day is a day of love and there can never be too much love in the world.
[ Q ] What are some of the ways you have celebrated Valentines Day?
Most of the time Tina and I go out for a nice dinner, I look into Tina's eyes and I don't have to say anything because she's saying the same thing to me. It's not what you do it's how you do it. You can celebrate without all the material things because sometimes the eyes say what the mouth can't even imagine.
[ Q ] How could a bodybuilder on a strict pre-contest diet, with the often-concomitant lack of energy and deprivation that accompanies such a regime, celebrate Valentines Day?
To be honest with you, if you're thinking about yourself on Valentines Day, then just stay home and give yourself the roses and chocolate and say Happy Valentines Day to yourself, then give yourself a big kiss. This is a day for love. Hit the gym, and then hit your honey.
And most of all tell them, I LOVE YOU!
Happy Valentines Day and God bless!