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Bodybuilding.com's Quandary: Who is the buffest?

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Hmmm... Do I like the donkey or the elephant?

At Bodybuilding.com, we know what you guys really care about...size and strength! We want a President who's big and buff. After all, we don't want people from foreign countries to think we're weak when they see our president.

So, in order to help us out with our decision we have written letters to both presidential front-running candidates. Here is a copy of the actual letter that has been sent to Governor George W. Bush and Vice President Al Gore.

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The Letter Reads...

Dear [Presidential Candidate],

    We here at Bodybuilding.com are in somewhat of a quandary. We are evenly split over whom to vote for in the upcoming election. To make matters more difficult for us, the questions being asked of you and your opponent do not provide us with suitable information to make our decision. Therefore, we have come up with a couple of questions that will aide us in our decision making process.

    Since, at this point and time, the political arena is not in the forefront of our minds, we have two questions that are more appropriate to our cause. Not to mention, we believe that our next president should personify what we believe in, strength and size. And, since Governor Ventura isn't a candidate, here, without further delay are the two questions that we must have answers to in order to make the best decision on election day.

    1. What is the size in inches, of your flexed bicep?
    2. What is the weight, in pounds, of your max bench-press?

    We hope to hear from you soon with the answers to these questions. The answers will be posted on our website: Bodybuilding.com. Please send your reply to 599 E. 44^th Suite 1, Boise, Idaho 83714. We thank you in advance for your reply.

Sincerely,
Daniel Grisham
Public Relations
Bodybuilding.com